histamine intolerance and social pressure

5 Jul

You’re supposed to meet your friends for an evening out, but you’re too sick too go. It has happened more then once that you had to cancel a date with friends or family, with no other explanation that you’re sick.

I know when that happens to me, that I get sick due to reactions, and that I have to cancel things, it makes me feel horribly guilty. You feel like you’re a bad friend/family member, and you wish you could go back to doing the normal stuff everyone does. You keep worrying about what your friends or family might think of you now, do they even believe you anymore?

It’s quite hard having foodintolerances, when we live in a society that associates pleasures and fun with food. And it’s even harder to explain to people food is no longer fun or pleasure for you without them raising an eyebrow. Not a lot of people are familiar with food intolerances, and the consequences so we often feel like we’re talking to a wall.

As for me, I try to involve my friends and family the most I can in what I feel, how I deal with it, what is causing me to feel bad… I’m not making a secret out of my histamine intolerance at all. I know its quite hard explaining it to someone who probably never even heard of the word histamine, but by involving these people into what you have, they feel like they’re a part of it and will do their best to understand. Off course, not everyone will react the same, but noone should feel ashamed to cancel a family outing because they have heart spasms due to histamine intolerance. Even if it happens frequently.

People will understand much better why you cancel when they learn about the reactions you have, and why you are having them. Histamine intolerance is real, and not a lot of people know about it… so the more people you share your histamine intolerance with…the more will get aware, and maybe even share it with others?

Don’t be afraid to cancel things if you’re too sick, don’t feel embarrased if you can’t eat anything at dinner parties… just say so, bring your own food or plan other fun things like going to the zoo, or a tropical swimming pool! But never feel embarrassed, bad or guilty for what you have… even tho it feels like your social life is ruined, be open about it..and people will start to understand šŸ™‚


4 Responses to “histamine intolerance and social pressure”

  1. Anita September 5, 2010 at 3:53 pm #

    I understand that very well, Nele. It remembers me a few very sad experiences with friends. At a time I didnt even know I’ve got a lactosis intolerance, I sometimes had to cancel a meeting with friends very short before. I only had “feeling sick” as an explanation – and my friend had no tolerance for that. She even insulted me how I can do that – and left me back even more sick, sad and almost like crying, why people just cant have a little compassion for others.. šŸ˜¦

    I just ended up breaking up with such people, they’re not worth it. And they dont do us good. When YOU feel sick, others should be happy, when they dont have to deal with such things, instead of judging friends..

    • histamine intolerance September 5, 2010 at 4:10 pm #

      Sometimes it can be so hard, thats why I believe it is so important to keep an open and loving mind. And always remember what we have is not out fault, and people will react to it in ways they have learned. Showing them it can be different is our task then šŸ™‚

  2. Sissy March 7, 2011 at 1:13 am #

    Hi – I love the site. I have just been diagnosed with HIT and am so ill I can only eat a few foods. Have you foundaANY doctors in Europe that are any good at helping??

    • histamine intolerance March 15, 2011 at 1:44 pm #

      Dirk Budka in London is quite wonderfull.. There is also a dietician here in belgium who knows about these problems. You can find her at optinutrics.com

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