So you’re in THAT box…

18 Apr

And I wish I was referring to the Doctor Who police box. Unfortunately Im not.

This has been on my mind for quite some time, but today I finally felt the trigger to actually write about it. And I would like to point out that this post isn’t specifically about food intolerant people, but any type of gal or dude that is considered ‘limited’ in any sort of way. With ‘limited’ (please note the brackets, i honestly detest the term…) most people mean others that can not function the way they should in society. people who have severe food intolerances, fears, physical disabilities, chronic illnesses, mental disorders and/or illnesses… The list goes on.

What do I mean with THAT box? I’m going to try and explain this from my point of view, and more, experience. I have been chronically ill for almost all my life in one way or another *makes mental note to send grains a thank you gift * (NOT), plus I’m very chaotic, hectic and well…clumsy. Most people around me, who deal with me on a frequent basis, will notice this by simple means of deduction. For example: ‘ out of 10 times I try to go out with her, 9 times she will end up being too sick or too tired. So that 1 time she can go, I will tell her she is too tired or sick, and thus protect her against further consequences, and accepting that as her identity’. Or: ‘ she is very clumsy and will get into trouble. She is eager to try things, but always gets into trouble and I have to bail her out. Thus next time I will protect her and me and make sure she doesn’t venture out on her own, thus accepting the clumsyness as her identity’.

Noble as this may be, and I can perfectly understand why this is done, it is incredibly limiting on those you do this with. We are left with no chance to prove ourselves otherwise, to step outside THAT box that was created around us. Very often, this concerns people who have severe daily battles ahead of them, and fighting this on top of it might just be a little too much. A young man in a wheelchair is not his wheelchair. He is a young man with hopes and dreams. And maybe the wheelchair might not always get him everywhere he wants, there is absolutely no harm in letting him try. The beautiful mom with severe histamine intolerance is not her illness. Perhaps she gets tired so so rapidly, and can barely eat, but that doesn’t mean you have to decide for her what she can or can not do. The young woman who is seeminly so clumsy, always screwing everything up, might not be able to always get it right, or often even. But she too deserve a chance to prove herself otherwise.

It is very important to allow people to get energy out of things they CAN do, rather then to focus on things they can NOT do. Even if it means that 90% of the time it will fail, the remaining 10% it will succeed. And that 10% is not just us doing something we can, but it also shows you believe so much in us you allow us to try something, to challenge ourselves, to enable us to grow, and quite simply… let us do things for ourselves. It benefits us much more you are there when we try and fail, then when you prevent us from trying all together. Don’t be afraid, we will ask for help when things do not work out.

It’s up to us to step outside the box, but a little help never harmed anyone 🙂

As my father told my brother last week: ‘Just because someone is sick, or tired, doesn’t mean you should take away that one thing that gives them energy, or a spark of life. You should always respect that, no matter how ill, or tired, or poor they are.’

3 Responses to “So you’re in THAT box…”

  1. angelinalunenburg2003 at 11:22 pm #

    Beautiful ♥ I have spent my entire life pushing my way out of several of those boxes.

  2. Genialiciosa Marta at 4:40 pm #

    Oh, Nelly! I’m reflected in all your post. i’m thinking about it a long time ago… but my friends, and sometimes my family, don’t understand that we NEED to try it, and prove to exit to this box…


    Marta (Spain)

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